מריבות תאומים בתוך חברת הילדים
Twins in the same children's group can have more and more intense conflicts with each other than other peers have with each other. This may mean that the relationship between the twin can be problematized. Much depends, however, on the perception of conflicts as well as the understanding of what it means to be twin.
View of conflicts
§ Conflicts are often perceived as negative
§ Facts: Conflicts are neither negative nor positive. That's what we do with the conflicts that affect how it affects the relationship between the twin
§ Twins with many conflicts are perceived as having a problematic relationship
§ Facts: Conflicts and friendliness are two different dimensions, and the two things are therefore independent of each other. Twins can both have many conflicts andhave a close friendship relationship
It is special to be twins in a children's group
§ Twins seek more often in a children's group than ordinary siblings
§ Twins have more interaction with each other in a children's group than ordinary siblings
§ Therefore, twins seem to have more conflicts than siblings in general. However, there is still no evidence that twins should have more conflicts than for example. pseudo twins
§ Siblings are not prepared to take care of their relationship when they have conflicts, and their approach to their mutual conflicts is therefore often more conflict-raising
§ Similar friends are more wary and willing to negotiate when they have conflicts with one another and are therefore more conflicting in their approach to conflicts between friends
§ Girls are often more negotiating and boys are more escalating when they have conflicts
§ Therefore, the mutual conflict of two can really be more violent than you are used to in a peer group of children
Significance of twin inter-conflicts in a children's group
For the twin cabinet
Many and intense conflicts do not have to mean that a twin-parent has a problematic sibling relationship. First, one can not assess the quality of their relationship solely on the basis of their conflict level. Secondly, the level of conflict (both intensity and frequency) is highly influenced by how adults deal with the conflicts of the two. Third, conflicts can teach the twins a lot of social skills - if the adults grab the chance and help them solve the conflicts themselves, rather than playing judges and just closing the conflicts.
For the relationship of the twin to the children's group
With regard. the relationship of the twin to the children's group, their intense inter-conflicts may risk their social opportunities. Some children may be scared and fearing that they should ever get out of it.
Children are not accustomed to sibling conflicts in a peer group of children, and then twins are socially seen more often than friends than siblings. Therefore, the other children may have expectations that the twins are just like all other comrades in their way of being together and the inter-conflicts of the two nations will therefore seem extraordinarily violent. It can easily be overlooked by both children and adults that it is "just" about ordinary sibling conflicts.
The effect of twin conflicts on their relationship with the children's group depends much on how adults handle it: if the adults themselves react calmly and understand how to calm the other children, for example, By explaining to the other children how it is when you are siblings and become unfamiliar, the other children will be reassured that twins are not "dangerous" to play with.
The adults can also benefit from noticing that twins rarely have similar violent conflicts with those with whom they have a friendship. In these situations, there is the opportunity to support the twins themselves to notice how good they can also be to escalate conflicts so that these skills can be strengthened. What gets attention is growing.
For the children's group as a whole
In relation to the children's group as a whole, one might think that the inter-conflicts of the twin people are disturbing the educational practice. However, it should be borne in mind that primary education practice in institutions and schools is relationship work, and conflict management is in fact relations work on the cutting edge.
Therefore, it does not make sense primarily to regard conflicts as an interruption of pedagogical practice. Instead, the conflicts (when possible) can be a learning opportunity not only for the two children who are in conflict with each other, but also for the children who testify to it. Children learn a lot of dealing with conflicts - and especially when they consider conflicts of other children and do not even feel the feelings of boil.
At the forefront, the mutual conflicts of twin in this light can be regarded as a gift to the community - rather than a problematic disturbance.
The primary is how the conflicts are handled
The adult's handling of the inter-conflicts of the twin is of equal importance to the conflict level of a twin couple, as the relationship between the two children!
The primary thing about the significance of twin conflicts in a children's group is, to a lesser extent, a question of whether twins have many or few conflicts, but what the adults do with the conflicts!